I was talking with a client the other day who was having an especially hard time with her verbally abusive and emotionally destructive boss. She expressed how upsetting it was to go to work and be immersed in a toxic workplace for 8 hrs a day. As she spoke I remembered something I learned years also in Hawai’i. What I learned was a quick and easy way to change a negatively charged memory or experience into a pleasant one. I know this is going to sound strange to some of you but try it the next time you are confronted with an angry or irate person.
Here is what you do, as the person is railing at you, imagine them in a clown suit, with a big nose, over-sized feet and see there lips flapping as they rant. Maybe even give them a tail, just make them as funny as you can imagine. What happens as you imagine the person this way is that you can’t help but to smile inwardly and maybe even giggle a bit to yourself. What happens in your brain when you do this is that the memory or experience is stored differently, it moves to an area of your brain that hold pleasant images and memories and is no longer as traumatic as a result.
I did this once after a biting conversation with my mother -in- law that left me in tears. I went back and re-imagined the whole conversation and presto—- the energy and my reaction changed instantaneously—- just like that. I felt better and was able to let it go which was a godsend.
My client used it right away and she just loved the clown she created in her mind’s eye of her abusive boss just Blah, Blah, Blahing at her. She said it really changed her entire experience.