Day: June 6, 2010

How to counter verbally abusive people

I was talking with a client the other day who was having an especially hard time with her verbally abusive and emotionally destructive boss. She expressed how upsetting it was to go to work and be immersed in a toxic workplace for 8 hrs a day. As she spoke I remembered something I learned years also in Hawai’i. What I learned was a quick and easy way to change a negatively charged memory or experience into a pleasant one. I know this is going to sound strange to some of you but try it the next time you are confronted with an angry or irate person.

Here is what you do, as the person is railing at you, imagine them in a clown suit, with a big nose, over-sized feet and see there lips flapping as they rant. Maybe even give them a tail, just make them as funny as you can imagine. What happens as you imagine the person this way is that you can’t help but to smile inwardly and maybe even giggle a bit to yourself.  What happens in your brain when you do this is that the memory or experience is stored differently, it moves to an area of your brain that hold pleasant images and memories and is no longer as traumatic as a result.

I did this once after a biting conversation with my mother -in- law that left me in tears. I went back and re-imagined the whole conversation and presto—- the energy and my reaction changed instantaneously—- just like that.  I felt better and was able to let it go which was a godsend.

My client used it right away and she just loved the clown she created in her mind’s eye of her abusive boss just Blah, Blah, Blahing at her. She said it really changed her entire experience.

Aries, the heat of summer is upon us.

As we move into the heat of summer Uranus and Jupiter will both be in Aries. Jupiter will move back into Pisces around the end of July but expect the unexpected til then.

Remember Uranus is about action and upheaval and Jupiter is the shaman or trickster. So when these two energies dance life is often full of surprises.

Mars has been in Leo and is moving into Virgo with Saturn and so this can lead to some frustration. Jupiter and Uranus love movement and Virgo is a bit more plodding. Saturn loves this, but Mars— well you might feel like a horse at the starting gate, who just wants to run the race  but you can’t get out of the gate.

Uranus and Jupiter may be reminiscent of  the 1960’s but with Aries involved it could be a hot headed summer especially around the end of July, when our judgment is a bit clouded like a foggy San Francisco day.

Change is a foot and that can be confusing with so many energies at play. So keep your cool, ground your energy.  Take walks in the trees or take a swim in a river or lake or at the beach!  And have fun that’s what Uranus and Jupiter are also about.