Sometimes it is the smallest forgotten moment that can change your perception of yourself and your world. That was the case for a client, Anna, who came to see me because she was feeling invisible at work. She did excellent work but had been passed over for promotions. Why did she feel so invisible and unseen? She really wanted to understand why this was happening. And she really wanted the raise she deserved.
She shared that even when she was a child she felt like she disappeared, often into books, which were her passion. But she did not want to feel this way anymore.
With such a clear desire and goal I asked her to breath deeply and to touch into her heart-mind and to gently go back to the first time she felt this sense of being invisible.
As she closed her eyes I felt her body relax and drift back in time. She opened her eyes a few minutes later and told me this story.
She was three years old when her grandparents came for a visit. It was a hot summer day along the gulf and her older brother and sister and she were playing outside when they arrived.
Her grandparents asked if they would like to go get ice cream and promptly took the two older children out to Woolworth’s leaving my client behind. When her brother and sister returned with ice cream she was so sad and just withdrew.
As she remembered these events she realized how invisible this made her feel. She was standing right there, next to her brother and sister but her grandparents went without her-they took the hands of her siblings and they all piled into the car leaving her behind.
She never realized how hurt she had been or how invisible she felt. She shared that this seemingly small action on the part of her grandparents has really impacted her and that until this moment she had never thought of that day. But she got how this simple experience made her feel invisible at her job in the present.
She reflected that her introverted childhood was probably a reaction to not wanting to be hurt and left out again. And she understood how energetically she withdrew unknowingly to this very day in her daily life. She also laughed and said that her grandparents probably did not want to have to double team with three kids in tow.
We worked with the emotions and memories and she left my office feeling rejuvenated, confident and ready to take her place as a visible member of her team at work.
She also had the skills to care for her past self, so she would never be invisible again. And when her next job review came up she received that long awaited raise, and was seen for the capable and smart woman that she was.
As you can see it is not only the big events that impact you, small moments that you have long forgotten can be the roots of problems or challenges you are facing in your daily life. Like this woman you too can find healing and restore your self-esteem and sense of identity by working with the emotional memories you have long forgotten. Inner peace, empowerment and renewed self-confidence can be your once again.